AE #4: When to Say F It - Navigating the Egoic Mind

Sometimes, the mind goes in circles, never truly progressing. It’s exhausting and painful. The question is, when do you just say F it?

How do you know when to stop?

Why does it hurt so much, and why do we make ourselves suffer?

The Cyclone of Self-Doubt

I go through spirals from time to time. Sometimes, months go by; other times, I’m in the cyclone of my daily demise. The pressure to do better, to not feel like a fraud, is relentless. I often battle with being led to do this work I didn’t choose to pursue, which puts even more pressure on me to do better. It's as if being human and experiencing doubt makes me a fraud. Yeah, I know, God forbid I'm a human, right? 😉

These are not my present thoughts as I write this. I hope to share my honest journey. In moments of darkness, I tend to hide alone. I can't always share in the present because I struggle to express myself in a helpful way when I'm in the victim mindset.

A Moment of Awareness

Back in 2017, on a call with a client who was very vulnerably sharing her struggles, I replied, “I know what you mean; I still have those moments.” She looked at me, surprised, and said, “You do? I didn’t think anything really got to you anymore.”

In that moment, I realized that despite my triumphs and overcoming a lot, it wasn’t the end-all. I needed to continue to teach the middle.

Random Thought…

This tends to happen a lot to me. I write from my gut, pouring out my emotions. I went to find a quote to go with the message today and never had I ever seen the one above.

I didn't even know someone felt that too. I've never actually read any content by her. It's cool, though, not because I desire to be original, but at least I know I'm on the right track. 😉

Insights from the Struggle

Perfectionism and self-doubt are part of the journey. They’re not signs of failure but part of the process of growth. Recognizing when to let go, when to say F it, and stop torturing ourselves is crucial. It’s about embracing the middle, the messiness, and the real growth that happens there.

Practical Tips for Navigating Self-Doubt

• Identify Triggers: Reflect on what situations or thoughts trigger your self-doubt. Awareness is the first step to change.

• Set Boundaries: Create clear boundaries for yourself. Limit time spent on activities that fuel your self-doubt, like endless social media scrolling.

• Practice Self-Compassion: Speak to yourself kindly. When you catch yourself being critical, pause and reframe your thoughts.

• Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Whether it’s a friend, therapist, or mentor, sharing your thoughts can lighten the load.

Embracing the Middle

Embracing the middle of the journey is where real growth happens. It’s about recognizing the cycles of self-doubt, knowing when to let go, and understanding that the messiness is part of the process. By sharing the honest parts of our journey, we find value and growth in the middle.

Thank you for being part of this journey. Let’s continue to explore the middle, embrace the messiness, and grow together.

Until next time,
Danielle ✨

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